Tuesday, December 7, 2010


I have a teenage boy.  A big, red, hairy teenage boy.  He's moody when he's hungry. Doesn't mind being filthy. Has to be told everything twice. Cops an attitude on a regular basis. Is insecure around females and poops about 18 times a day.  I love him despite it all.  He's my horse and his name is Biggs. 

 When I bought him his name was Biggy Smalls, you know, after that obese dead rapper?  I shortened it to Biggs and never looked back.  It fits him, as he's an above average sized horse.  For anybody who knows horse-talk, he's 16.1hh.  For those of you who don't know, hh means Hands High.  Each hand equals four inches.  You do the math because it was never my strong subject.

Biggs turned 10 this year, that's kind of like the big 4-0 so I spent the day reassuring him that he didn't look a day over 6 and that he was still a red fox.  Because he is isn't he? 

Look at that strong and chiseled jaw...those pouty lips...that thick head of red hair.  He even has a scar on the side of his nose. I think it was proven somewhere that woman find that appealing.  Man, he's got alot going for him.

Good lord horse...take off the elephant mask.  I guess everyone has that not-so-good side.  His just so happens to be the front profile.  Mine is my right side.  I feel for you Biggs, I understand the issue clear as day.  

I have had my boy for four years now and we sure have had a lot of fun together.  After years of competitive riding and constant training I decided I just wanted to play and I couldn't have picked a better horse to play with.  He doesn't always play nice but his shenanigans have taught me quite a bit.  Like don't assume he won't step on your foot when you stop to talk to a friend while you're leading him back to his stall for dinner.  Also don't assume that plastic bag on the ground isn't going to make him jump four feet in the air and scream like a girl. Definitely don't assume he won't need enough tranquilizer to take down an elephant when he's due for his yearly vaccinations. Just don't assume anything because you know what that means...insert my mothers advice on something to do with an ass.  

Oh yeah and don't assume you can wear sandals to the barn and make it back home with all of your toes. 

He's great to ride and is gentle enough to allow friends and B to get on him as well...as long as there are no plastic bags in the immediate vicinity.   We go western mostly but we dabble in English as well.

Doesn't he look cute all gussied up?  It's that front profile thing again.  At least I try to shy away from cameras with my bad side.  This guy's got no shame. 

Biggs is a half Thoroughbred and half Paint.  Paint horses are usually brightly colored and fun to look at...my horse is not.  He's shiny and red...sometimes abnormally neon but he has zero color on him (i.e. White) except for that little star smack dab on his forehead.  He did however end up with many Thoroughbred attributes.  One of which is his desire to RUN.  As shown below...

I won't mention his other Thoroughbred attributes because they aren't as pretty and fun to talk about.  

This picture shows another one of Bigg's favorite things to do.  It has more to do with being a horse than being a certain breed.  This horse LOVES to roll!  Usually his most favorite time and place to exhibit this behavior is immediately following a bath, in 6 inches of mud, or in the shavings I put down that he has just peed on.  It's that teenage boy stuff again.

 I board my horse at a barn that backs up to the ocean and is surrounded by farmland.  The barn itself is a bit rough around the edges but it has wonderful facilities, multiple arenas and amazing trails.  This is the view from one of our rings.  The sunsets here are phenomenal and when you're on horseback taking in a sunset, things just don't get better than that.  The views from some of the trails are ridiculous.  I wish Biggs would stop being so paranoid of mountain lions and enjoy a few with me.   

I love this horse.  He makes me laugh ALL the time whether he's being stupid or adorable. When life is not cooperating and I'm in a horrible mood I can just think of him and smile.  My teenage boy.

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